I have fallen in love with dancing 100% sober, fully getting to enjoy movement in clarity, while being absolutely authentically me. Today, I celebrate being able to experience joyously dancing alcohol free, with no more boozy interference.
I had so much fun bopping around a music event last weekend. I started to think back to when I would first go to concerts as a teenager, and how incredibly self conscious I would feel while dancing. Then drinking got involved.
I thought alcohol helped alleviate that self conscious feeling. Since then, I always felt like I needed to have a couple drinks to relax and have fun at a concert. How freeing it has been to learn in these last couple years that I don’t need that at all. In fact, I find I have SO much more fun NOT drinking!
Feeling grateful!
The experience brought to mind a poem I included in a book I am publishing on my journey to sobriety. The poem is on realizing that instead of “learning to control it,” it’s much more freeing to find self-acceptance and self-love without needing those couple of drinks to “have fun” in the first place.
I Just Need To Be
“The trick is controlling it.”
He says to me across the table
Says everyone who doesn’t get it
No.
The trick is relearning life
Repatterning love
Reconfiguring enjoyment
So you don’t need to control
Some trickster demon whispering
You need this
To relax
To have fun
To loosen up
Because every person that talks about
This trick of control
Says
Oh, I usually just like to have a couple
To relax
To have fun
To loosen up
But if you need to dance with a demon
For all that
You will never be comfortable
In your own skin
You will never really relax
With this life you’ve been given
You will never have fun
Looking around
For that next one
Which one will finally do the trick?
Oh, whoops
Tripped over
That line
Of control
No.
That’s not how this is won
It’s easier to just be done
I’m stepping away
From that exhausting scheme
It’s that trickster demon’s twisted game
And I don’t want to play
I am already relaxed
I am already fun
I am already free
I don’t need a drink
I just need to be
1 comment
Thanks!