I like having a drink.
That is to say, I like the RITUAL of drinking on a special occasion, or at a particular time of the day. Out to dinner? Done with work? Celebrating? Usually, the answer to this need for ritual was alcohol. It was a reflex. It was a habit. But rituals can be modified. They can be made even better.
Slowly, I’ve learned that this need for ritual can just as easily be satisfied with a beverage that happens to not include alcohol. One by one, I replaced my rituals. That meant treating myself to a mocktail at a restaurant with a friend, enjoying a glass of non alcoholic wine on a special occasion, or crafting myself a soda water with lime in a wine glass at the end of the day.
In sobriety, I’ve come to appreciate the actual crafting of the drink, enjoying that feeling of treating myself to something special in a fancy glass. Being mindful and appreciative while I am making a drink helps me to realize that I actually enjoy the action of what I am doing, not necessarily the buzz that alcohol gives me (and the nightmare of alcohol addiction that followed).
In a restaurant with friends, or at a bar, I order soda water with pineapple juice in a cocktail glass or margarita glass. (Do not bring it to me in a plastic cup and treat me like a child!) I’ve realized, I just wanted to have a drink with a friend, it was a ritual. I wanted to join them in what they were doing and be social. But I didn’t need to get drunk and have alcohol involved.
For me, social drinking was a lie. I would tell myself that I would have just one or two to be social and then stop. That never happened. That just turned into continuous drinking all night. It meant bad sleep. It became guilt over not taking care of myself. So, what can you do to replace that need to join in and be social?
I replaced the ritual with something healthy. And now, I get continuous clarity and joy from living sober. Granted it took a lot of work on a million other things, but those are whole other blog posts!
So cheers to treating ourselves with drinks (the better kind that truly nourishes us!)
